Working Woes ......

There are 4 categories or modes of communication.

1. 'Underwhelming' mode : practised by people who are so timid that they either say nothing or hedge their comments with so many clauses that they have no power. People who are afraid to express their own feelings or ideas. Always say, "What do you think?"
2. 'Impossed' communication : one does all the talking (imposing his or her views) and the other party better does all the listening (no disagreements allowed, no comments are necessary).  People who are afraid to relinquish control. An irresponsible form of communication that creates an immediate and long lasting breakdown in communication. 
3. 'Feedback' style : one still does all the talking but the other party is free to respond. Then, the one that does the talking responds well to the clues and 'signals' are then conveyed to the other party. People who are not threatened by any form of feedback, different approaches, viewpoints or even disagreements. Better than the first two modes of communication, but still not ideal.  
4. 'Confluent' communication : both parties take a 100 percent responsibility to communicating clearly. Encourage each other to express their feelings, hopes, resentments and beliefs and feels equally comfortable no matter what. A form of communication that is truly responsible and comes close to removing all barriers that characterize most communications.

What possibly could have caused poor communication? It is likely that a person tend to listen against you. Have an errorneous assumption about you and make value judgements about what you were saying. Consequently, there were no acceptance and trust. Thus, you were unable to express your feelings.  

On the other hand, if you have been able to communicate well; the other party listened to you and not against you, accepted you and evaluated what you have to say without value judging and without making assumption. What made that possible? Trust and acceptance made it possible for you to express your feelings.

It is crtical that you get across the fact that you are really who you communicate you are and what you say is what you believe. When people learnt that you can be relied upon to back up your words with actions, you will be effective in winning trust, creating allegiances and getting things done.

"The effectiveness of your life is determined by

the effectiveness of your communication."