Working Woes ......

To All Those Concerned.

Are you ready to tie the knot? Do you hear wedding bells or think of walking down the aisle? Well, before you say "I do", I suggest that it's best to find out if you are truly ready for marriage. Getting married is a beautiful thing but it does take certain maturity in a relationship to handle the concerns that come with that wedding ring. It really takes two to tango so it is best to find out if you and your partner are truly ready to commit.

First and foremost, be honest and evaluate the reasons behind your engagement. Ask yourself why are you taking the big step - is it out of convenience? Or simply think it is time. You have to make sure that you are getting married for the right reasons and if you look forward to spending the rest of your life with your partner, then the two of you are all set!

History play a large role in forming future behaviours and expectations so if you are walking down the aisle promisng to spend "sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live", it is then essential for you to find out about his relevant past relationships. Take note on how your partner handles disagreements or issues during past relationship and you will have an idea on how he will be with you in the future. You ought to realise all these before getting engaged as you two should have spent a large amount of time getting to know each other.

It is so easy to get carried away with the whole beautiful ceremony and wedding preparation. However, it pays to take a step back to realise that your wedding is a day but your marriage is a lifetime. You don't just want to get married; you want to be happily married. There are lots going on after the 'big day' . Sit down with your partner nd develop an emotional prenuptial agreement outlining how you will handle children, discipline, money, housework, religion, career, in-laws and last but not least other less romantic but necessary areas of your life. The fact is, if you don't plan for and discuss these topics, you won't be able to successfully merge two lives together.  The two of you are ging to be sharing lives and it is no easy feat having to combine two individual lifestyles into one.  

Take a good look at what your relationship will cost you. I mean what your marriage will cost you in terms of your life overall - if you have to give up your friends, career or family for example. If it all falls apart, are you going to be emotionally bankrupt? It is better to be healthy alone, than sick with someone else. I believe that it is never healthy to give up all parts of your life for one person. However, there are always exceptions and there are no rights and wrongs in this equation but it's safe to say that if your beloved wants to give you up everything that makes who you are as an individual, you are in a rough ride. I would say that if that happens, it is time to re-evaluate the relationship because marriage and relatonship are a lot about compromise when it comes to givng.

Finally, you have to know what you want because you cannot determine if someone is good for you if you do not know your own needs. Be clear about your wants and expectations and it is not selfish to have goals within a relationship. Express your needs and exectations now - not when you are already in the marriage. Communicate honestly about each other's wants and expectations. In fact, you will be amazed how talking about your and expectations can help you and your partner put the relationship and future marriage in perspective.    

Thank You.